Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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