Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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