White coat. Heels.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
pray to the hookup gods
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
