Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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