she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
