Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
