Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
