Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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