I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My pussy is not your playground.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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