Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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