hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
