She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
