Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
