If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
