You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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