you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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