I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
