i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I deserve to be covered in dicks
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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