its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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