i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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