I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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