I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
