What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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