I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
