how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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