Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
