I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
