Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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