after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
