maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
