I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
