I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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