pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
