no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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