I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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