I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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