it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
