drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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