ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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