I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
