They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
