3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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