1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish I could punch you in the face.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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