Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
