google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Even my vagina gasped.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
