sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
