I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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