I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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