I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We are two peas in an std pod
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
