just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
